Anchors
by unknown-but-never-forgotten
Summary: After the titan war, Percy feels like he failed his camp, and takes the blame on himself. He feels like he is worthless. But luckily he has a anchor to keep him grounded. TRIGGERS:SELF-HARM AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS. one shot.
1. Chapter 1

_**Hi guys, i know, i know I've been gone for a long time. But for the last couple years I've been in a hole. For a bit it was great, now i dont know. I've been really sick, and mental not well. But i shouldn't make you all suffer.**_

 _ **I hope you all dont mind its darkness but it the only thing i can right for now.**_

Percy's POV

The titan war, brutal and not fair. Life isn't fair. So much lost, so much destruction.

And I couldn't stop it.

My home, is in shambles. My friends, alive by a thread or dead.

In my eyes, I failed them all. I, Percy Jackson, the leader of Camp Half-Blood, couldn't save my home like I should of. Instead of leading them, I had to fight, although a bigger threat, a giant. Yeah it's good I did but I could have done more. I look at the crumbled remain of my home and bury my face in shame. Sure the seven and I beat the giant, but i failed them the most. We lost Leo. just another casualty i caused. If i was stronger, I could have saved all of them.

My thought are interrupted by someone calling my name. I turn to look at the person who means more to me then my own life.

Annabeth gives me a sad smile and wave for me to come and its time. I get up and walk past her refusing to look her in the eyes.

"She hates me," I hear my brain tell my heart. "She think it your fault." I feel her grab my hand and try to stop my, but I refuse and just let my hand slip out of hers, and I just keep walking. From there she doesn't try to give anymore since of comfort, and I'm glad cause its something I don't deserve.

As I past the remains of the Big House I think of how it looked full. Something I can't do. So I keep walking.

I get to the main area where the cabins are and see the rest of camp is there. Most are wounded, and those who aren't, well honestly there wasn't anyone who wasn't hurt. Everyone moves so I can get to the front. I look no one in the eye and get to where I am meant to be. Annabeth joins my side and I can see in the corner of my eye, see is watching my with concern. "Please don't Annabth," I think, "I'm not worth the worry."

From that point on I go numb. I hear Chiron, thanking everyone who attended the service and give his condolences to the campers that lost there brothers, there sister, there boyfriends, there girlfriends. Then I hear nothing but my thought.

 _"They fought well.."_

"...And where was I to protect them.."

" _... may we see them at peace in another life..."_

"except me... I prey they aren't in the same please I will be going.."

 _"... and although they may be gone, we shall always know they are there in are heart.."_

"... they wouldn't have to be remembered, but seen, if i was just able to save them..."

 _"... and those 56 where all family..."_

"... family I killed..."

 _"... may the gods protect them in there travels to the underworld..."_

"... please Zeus... take me..."

" _... may the rest in peace..."_

"... my they never forgive me..."

By the time the service is over, I'm I feel like everyone is looking at me with hate, cause i know they are. I begin to my cabin, feeling numb, angry, lost.

I walk in and shut the door, then black out. I just hear smashing, crashes, screams of anger from what seem to be my voice. Then I see my vision come in and out and notice a razor blade, on the ground. I hear my brain yell, _it's time for you to suffer as much as the camper that have died._ My vision fades back the black and then return with time to see my make cuts on my wrist, then blackens once more. When It final returns completely, I'm in my bathroom on the ground, arms covered in blood, sore and marked. I feel my eyes tear up and I sob. Moment later i hear a voice call from the main part of my cabin, but my cries are so loud, and my vision is fading again. I black out, then here pounding on the door, my vision returns enough for me to see who i breaks down the door.

Annabeth. She runs in and pulls me to her and I cling to her.

"I killed them" I sob. I feel her stroke my hair and rub my back. "I wasn't there to save them."

"Shhh," she cues loving comfort to me, and I feel my body calm down. After awhile, I feel myself fall into a troubled sleep.

/

I wake up in my bed, with my arms wrapped in gauze. I hear Annabeth, mutter thing so I keep my eyes closed, and listen.

"Percy, you are so strong... I never thought..."

There was silence and realize, she crying.

"... I know you blame yourself, but you did what you had to... to save others... Please Percy,... you promised you never leave me... and from what I saw... you wanted too.."

I open my eyes and feel my eyes tear up.

"what have I done..." I feel my heart cry.

I turn over and look at Annabeth, who doesn't realize I'm up and hug her. She tensed but leans into me.

"Im sorry," I mutter. "I'm so sorry."

We hold each other and she sobs as much as I do. Crying about all the lost of are friends, are torture, are hell.

Later that night, I watch her protectively and kiss her angelic face.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you again." I whisper.

"I was lost... But I found my anchor."

 ** _That was anchors... leave a comment if you liked..._**

 ** _bye.._**

 ** _punker81_**


	2. HI LETS TALK

**HI! So lets have a chat.**

 **For some reason, today has been the weird day for this story. I come on to my fanfiction page just to look at some old work i did and read some stuff, and i look at this story. I at first cringed at it. The grammar, the miss spelling of words, it all made me have a mile moment of regret.**

 **But as i read it... I made me smile.**

 **It made me smile cause i started this story when i was 14. It made me smile, cause it shows with all it goods and bads, i was innocent. It made me think of all the ideas i had for this story again, all those who enjoyed it gave me happiness.**

 **Something i havent felt in a long long time...**

 **For those who dont know, i suffer severe depression and part of the reason why i havent posted was cause i am just so down, and scared to write due to what others think. I know im not the best but know that i look at this story, it reminded me when i was young, of me effort to become one of the best.**

 **I want to try to be a writer again... like i wanted to when i started this story. I want to write again, and will.**

 **I may never be the best like young me wanted, but i will give it my best. so i how you all stay followed and just hold on cause more is to come.**

 **I promise.**

 **-UNKNOWN-BUT-NEVER-FORGOTTEN**


	3. final AN promise

**Okay, just wanted to let you all know, i will start posting again next weekend. Before you ask "why so long?" Well im currently stuck in finals, and have been since the last i've wrote to you all. But lucky is ends after next week so i will be able to focus on my writing.**

 **so with that i ask you to hold on a bit longer. we are almost there.**

 **-unknown-but-never-forgotten**

 **PS: if any of you have suggestion or simply like to talk, pm me.**


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